Do Not Be Afraid To Ask “What Are We?”

Good day my Fellow Thinkers and happy new year🥳!! Yes, yes I know first post of the year has been delayed but “better late than never” they say.

So I know the year just started and it is probably too early to be having this kind of conversation but a talk I had with my best friend recently has made me address this. I know this actually isn’t the first time that I am writing a post like this, but it can never hurt to reinforce the points.

Grab a pen and paper!

I feel like this post isn’t even for yall, I’m writing it for myself and hoping that once I put it out there will learn to take the damn advice.

As the title suggests, we are dabbling about the dreaded “What are we?” question.  3 words, so much pressure right? It’s funny how 3 words can change your entire mood. I’m pretty sure all the people with commitment issues reading this just shuddered a little bit. I know we stay making jokes about this and whenever people ask this question  it “kills the vibe” but it really is for a good cause. You can be having such an awesome vibe with someone and things are going great but just imagine, just take a precious moment to imagine; how AMAZING the vibe would be if everything was crystal clear. I stay saying it is essential to know your role. You’ll be playing the main character in the show just to find out that you’re really a recurring character who only comes on screen once every 5 episodes for one season. (Sorry for the series metaphor, due to lockdown I’ve been on Netflix a lot lol).

There are ALOT of fish in the sea don’t forget,  and you’re one of them😉

My point is having your intentions known from the start isn’t a bad thing. It can save you a lot of time and unnecessary hurt in the long run. We are a generation that likes preaching:

“SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST”
“SHOOT YOUR SHOT”
“I SAID WHAT I SAID

and yet we are still playing with each other’s feelings. One thing I’m learning in my twenties is don’t be scared to be direct with everyone and everything you do, be it when it comes to friendships, relationships, career, school and adulthood in general. I mean we’re all just trying to figure this thing out right? So why are we wasting each other’s time? Why set someone back? When you’re straightforward with the people you’re talking to they get to know what to expect instead of being disappointed all the time.

Don’t be like me, haha, I am being a clown right now because I won’t seek clarity ( but that’s a blog post for another day).

Oops,  here we go again 🤷🏾‍♀️

I know what some of you are thinking: “but if there isn’t a label on it, then clearly I don’t owe anyone anything” . Not going to lie, every time I heard someone say “you don’t owe anyone anything” it kinda hurts.  Take accountability, to some extent you’ll find that you do. Personally I believe that if you’re going to get into multiple talking stages or engage in sexual activities with more than one person… they have a right to know. In your head you’re thinking you don’t have to because you actually haven’t made a proper commitment so who cares how they feel? Just put yourself in their shoes, I mean we are the same people who also preach about how ghosting is wrong and how we should speak up when something isn’t going right or know your place.

Do you see where I’m going with this? We keep contradicting ourselves!! You cannot have your cake and eat it! If you know you don’t want somebody playing games with you then; you also as a human being don’t play games with others! Be honest people,  you really won’t lose anything from it.  This goes out to everyone, I’m not just targeting the ladies alone, I know guys also get the mixed signals too.

For our own peace of mind, start asking the right questions and getting the answers so we can all move on with life.

So my message for everyone as we enter 2020 one (see what I did there?): ASK👏🏿 THE 👏🏿 QUESTION “What are we?” And ask it often. Isn’t we said we are done with having people waste our time. Don’t forget if the person acts shady about answering it, you’ll have your answer.
Just stop going with the flow,  don’t be a Simphie lol.